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Joke of the Day

"Racist: What sign appears on abortion clinics in black communities? ""Crime Prevention Center"""

"I never expected my dad to steal from his road construction job... but when I got home all of the signs were there."

"What weighs 20 times a North Korean? Kim Jong Un."

"A lot of guys found Princess Leia attractive... ...but for me she ticks Alderaan boxes."

"Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as ""grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube."""

"New music is so bad you should be cool like me: longing for a fictionalized version of the past you werent even alive for in the first place"

"Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder."

"What is the definition of a semicolon? Something I usually have after a long night of drinking."

"If there's Jenny and Lucy, could there be Jenni and Luci? Then wouldn't that make them Jennifer and Lucifer?"

"I was absolutely fuming when I walked out of the art store earlier Bitch didn't have my Monet"