223517

Joke of the Day

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"

"I was awakened last night by the bulimic lady in the apartment next door. I knocked on her door and said: ""Please keep it down!"""

"How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood? His hand caught on fire."

"What does the nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business!"

"So, I walk in on daughter masturbating with a carrot. I shout, ""Fuck! Seriously? I was going to eat that later, and now it's just going to taste like carrots!"""

"We can't control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails."

"Why do women fake orgasms? they think we care!"

"What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup? Turn off their console and go to sleep."

"Filming my own version of ""Taken"" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter."

"What do you call it when a banana eats another banana? Canabananalism"