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Joke of the Day

"Don't be stingy when it comes to getting a circumcision. I got one cheap and it was a total rip-off."

"Helpful Tip.. If you are ever cold just stand in a corner... There normally 90 degrees.."

"""If you know about us Canadians, we like to say sorry..."" ""And if you knew that already... I'm sorry"""

"I was left alone for 3 hours and I almost cut my hand off trying to open a banana."

"I stuck a firecracker up the cats butt! Mommy: Tommy, it's rectum. Tommy: I'll say it rectum! It blew 'em all to hell!"

"My friend offered to let me rent 2 of his ermines. He is now the lessor of two weasels."

"Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty."

"I love palindromes that use made up words Sdrow pu edam esu taht semordnilap evol I"

"If I had 1,000,000 dollars, I would pay to have sex with your mom. And then I would invest the other 999,995 bucks."

"Soup baby What do you call a dead Ukrainian baby. Aborschtion"