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Joke of the Day

"What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup? Turn off their console and go to sleep."

"How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to manufacture it first."

"Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl? No thanks, We'll pass!"

"How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands."

"Did you hear about the man who flashed three old ladies sitting on a bench in the park? First old lady had a stroke. Second old lady had a stroke. Third old lady's arm was too short to reach."

"what do you call a funny chicken? a comedi-hen"

"[arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day."

"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"

"To impress the guys I told them I was dating an artist. I didn't tell them her preferred medium was sandwiches."

"I give up drinking for good. ... ... ... Now, I drink for evil."