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Joke of the Day

"I was awakened last night by the bulimic lady in the apartment next door. I knocked on her door and said: ""Please keep it down!"""

"Sorry I broke your arm when your reached for that last slice of pizza. -Flirting is hard."

"What the quickest way to a mans heart? Though his chest with a knife"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?"

"What not to do on a first date: ask what gender they are."

"Did you hear about the man who went into the doctor for anal glaucoma? He couldn't see his ass going into work."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all."

"Why do Irishmen drink all the time? You would too if you were a ginger"

"The Artist I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd."

"Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds? I feel bad for the poor fella."