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Joke of the Day
"How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood? His hand caught on fire."
Next Joke
"I'm currently writing a musical about diggers trapped in a mine. I think it's gonna be in the key of A-flat minor."
"According to my FitBit, last week I burned 23 calories and my Ex's house."
"They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died."
"A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island The Norwegian shoots the other two."
"Breaking: Man takes longer to find emoji than it would have taken him to find words that convey what he wanted."
"The guy who spelled 'Wednesday' like that sure pulled off some shit."
"What do you call an edible ion? An onion"
"'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string"
"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."