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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a banana eats another banana? Canabananalism"

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"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy. I would...."
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"What do you call a broken can opener? A can't opener"
"A girl couldn't decide which mascara to use Bitch couldn't makeup her mind."
"another bar joke a duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe. the bartender says, ""so you lost a shoe?"" and the duck says, ""no, i found one"""
"Why do cows have bells? Because there horns don't work"
"Jared gives a new meaning to ""Eat Fresh!"" How ""Fresh"" we talkin?"
"[apocalypse] Day 5: sickness is spreading rapidly Day 34: the streets are filled w death. There's no joy left in the world Day 69: LOL 69"
"*plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*"