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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If her ankles swell when she farts."

"I Once Tried to Break the World Record for Most Records Broken Suffice to say, the employees at Village Music World were not happy with me."

"I wanted to tell a joke about a blind people.. ..I figured they wouldn't see it."

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."

"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."

"I envision my high school English teacher reading my tweets, lighting up cigarette after cigarette and putting each one out on her arm."

"Just checked out Jian Ghomeshi's band Moxy Fruvous for the first time... Not bad. That guy can really keep a beat."

"It's so cold outside... I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple."

"How does the farmer count up his cows? ...with a cowculator."

"Joke: What does it imply when a tick is found on a vagina? That you may have to pull out. Just wanted to ask whether this is a keeper."