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Joke of the Day

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."

"Why is a change machine easy to understand? It makes cents."

"dead baby jokes Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph? A. stopping it with a shovel."

"Now I know why Charlie Sheen was always Winning... ...he was just being positive."

"My friend recently passed away after eating some poisonous mushrooms It's pretty sad, he was a really fungi!"

"Swear words Faggot shit fuck dick nigger slut ass pussy cunt damn whitey"

"What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter? Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves."

"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""

"teacher: i'm considering moving the test to next week. you guys down with that? me (too loud): down like the dog at the end of marley & me!"

"Why did the Hippy Drown? he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn"