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Joke of the Day

"did you know that the bible doesn't actually contain any references to hell? or heaven? or christ?? it just a bunch of names & phone numbers"

Next Joke
 
"How do you make an orphans hands bleed? Tell them to clap until daddy gets home"
"I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey."
"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."
"What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl? He turns off his xbox."
"Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it's like...I don't care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal"
"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"
"I'm gonna make like a standards censor and get the fuck outta here."
"DATE: [whispering in my ear] i've got a secret ME: [also whispering] is it tacos DATE: [giggles] no ME: can it be tacos"
"Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out? On the Yeast Side."