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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey."

"Maybe tomorrow I'll do that thing I said I'd do yesterday."

"There was a French chef... ...And one day he was extremely angry and said he is going to quit. Another man asked him ""why?"" Then the chef said ""All the food is out of date and I've just had un oeuf"""

"How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they can't change anything."

"My doctor said NO drinking for 2 weeks,then we both laughed."

"Why did the pig walk into the kitchen? Because he felt like bacon. :P"

"What do you get when you cross reggaeton and masturbation? Dame mas Vasolina"

"I am eternally grateful to whoever donated organs for my surgery... I'll always hold a little piece of them close to my heart."

"If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)"

"How near was the boy to his dad's tobacco stash before getting busted? Close... but no cigar."