64472

Joke of the Day

"How do you make an orphans hands bleed? Tell them to clap until daddy gets home"

"when zombies can't sleep it's called inzombnia holy shit that was a huge slice of comedy pie I bet you're all full now I sure am"

"My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all the signs were there"

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""

"How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's what students are for."

"what's the worst thing about a pi eating contest? it never ends"

"Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on."

"I have really bad hearing & thought he said ""I love turds"" but he said ""nerds"" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear."

"ME: my dog ate my homework TEACHER AT MY DOG FOOD CULINARY SCHOOL: that is good"

"Hey, do you see that big yellow thing in the sky ? Yeah, the world revolves around that. Not you."