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Joke of the Day
"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"
Next Joke
"well, son, we named you after where you were conceived; that's why you're called The Frightening, Tyrannical Hellscape of Obama's America"
"Dream Job My dream job is cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing."
"What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack? Morning wood."
"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."
"Remember, your toilet is just afraid of you as you are of it."
"I thought I spotted superman twice yesterday. Turns out it was just a bird and a plane. -Dwight York"
"I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer... I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"
"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin."
"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""