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Joke of the Day
"Usain Bolt's net worth is $60 million. How did he get so rich? By saving the gas money!"
Next Joke
"[Jesus on the cross] *texts with 1 hand* ""um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf"" *5 hrs pass* ""new phone. who dis?"""
"In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, ""Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"""
"Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup."
"I call my nephews ""Dude"" and ""Homie"" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)"
"What do you call it when a white person robs you? Capitalism."
"mob boss: stick his body in the compost pile me: wha mob boss (grabbing my collar intently): we might be killers, but u only got one earth"
"What is the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker & a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic oyster-shucker SHUCKS between FITS."
"What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! Woof"
"patiently explainin to a 5yr old that night lights only mean u will SEE the monster as it rips u apart.. that sometimes not knowin is better"