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Joke of the Day

"Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup."

"First I dated a seventh day adventist and then a mormon I told my mom that im not just in it for the sects but she doesn't believe me."

"How can you tell if a redneck is on her period? You can see the blood on the tip of her dad's penis."

"The declawed cats that I feel most sorry for are the ones that want to play scratch off lottery tickets."

"Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen? Emission Impossible"

"I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure."

"Hard to believe it's 2017 I'm still writing ""this is a nightmare fuck everything omg"" on my checks."

"Facebook people don't like Twitter because they need picture illustrations to understand the joke."

"What do you call a virgin in West Virginia? An only child...."

"Two Hispanic men are playing basketball. It's Juan on Juan."