222868

Joke of the Day

"One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together"

"What is something that looks like an obese vagina, loves guns, is widely hated by the Europeans and can't take a joke? An Americunt."

"*petting a dog* So how long have you been blind, officer? *gets arrested*"

"Actually Jesus wasn't the carpenter, Joseph was. You're thinking of the Carpenter's Monster"

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"Fish must really like poetry. They like things that are deep."

"What brings a Jewish family closer together? The bristles"

"Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would have been too farty."

"Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!"

"I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers... But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident."