2225

Joke of the Day

"It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk."

"A married man's prayer; Dear God, you gave me childhood, you took it away You gave me youth, you took it away. You gave me a wife.......... Its been years now... Just reminding you......"

"I saw my first porn yesterday I was so young back then...."

"What's a horse's number one priority when voting? A stable economy..."

"*around a fire* There used to be no iMessage *kids gasp* ""So there were a lot of green messages?"" THEY WERE ALL GREEN MESSAGES *kids scream*"

"The way I react when my alarm clock goes off can best be described as ""17-year-old girl being denied a curfew extension."""

"Why should you never buy ukrainian underwear? Chernobyl fallout."

"What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey? A fowl ball!"

"How do you know a vocalist is at your door? She can't find the key and doesn't know where to come in."

"sure you can PAY for a professional photographer, OR you can just lie spread out in a field until 1 finds u and just starts taking pictures"