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Joke of the Day

"I saw my first porn yesterday I was so young back then...."

"*wife gives me a big hug before I leave for work* I love you too, babe! [later] Where's my credit card? Son of a.."

"Is it just me or are they doing everything but having sex in Viagra commercials."

"Whenever I'm tempted to talk shit to a perfect stranger on Reddit I always remember my mother's wise words: ""Shut your fucking mouth, no one cares what you think."""

"How do Catholic church priests stay healthy? They exorcise."

"If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!"

"I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true."

"I don't know why there's such a stigma on masturbation. I find that it really comes in handy."

"How do feminists screw in a lightbulb? By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!"

"What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !"