22218

Joke of the Day

"Me: My tarot cards say that you're going to be in pain soon. Him: Ha! My Magic 8 Ball said No. *hurls Magic 8 Ball at him* Him: Ouch!"

"What's more stable a hamburger or a steak? A hamburger because it is in the ground state."

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear."

"*drops acid* *picks up acid* *drops acid* *picks up acid* *drops acid* *picks up acid* *drops acid* *checks for abs, finds a clown"

"Wanna hear a joke? My sex life..."

"[trailer] Narrator: THIS SUMMER, KEVIN HART Me: oh no Narrator: GUESS WHAT HE'S DOING Me: another cop m- Narrator: ANOTHER COP MOVIE"

"What did the 40 year old pregnant lady say when her husband asked her ""why are you so upset"" ""I'm having a midwife crisis"""

"What did Liberace die from? Botulism. Bad meat in the can."

"Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside"

"Just beat Guitar Hero on expert in case anyone is looking for a virgin to sacrifice before midnight."