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Joke of the Day

"What did Liberace die from? Botulism. Bad meat in the can."

"White may not be able to say the ""n"" word But they can say words like ""Hi Dad"" and ""Thanks for the warning officer."""

"I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day... ... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to let a lentil in my mouth."

"[Friend opens Christmas present] Me: It's a lie detector Friend: Oh... I love it Me: (whispering) we'll see"

"[Home Depot] ""Hi, my wife asked me to pick up some small finishing nails"" Clerk: Oh, with a little head? ""Nah, just verbally"""

"I have Alzheimer's AMA (Not sure if repost) Yes, this is a x-post from /r/circlejerk, but still a pretty good joke in my opinion."

"A patatoe is walking down a hallway When suddenly he Stubbs his toe and screams ""OUCH I stubbed my potaTOES"""

"What's the difference between my face and my jokes? People laugh at my face."

"How do you get a woman to scream twice? You do her in the ass, then wipe it off on the drapes."