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Joke of the Day
"Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside"
Next Joke
"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."
"The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off."
"Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys."
"Bank manager: I'm sorry sir you can't open an account with this sort of money. They're wooden pieces! Lumberjack: But I only want to open a shavings account."
"What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building? C4 yourself!"
"A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.... A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""
"What gets harder as you beat it? A penis."
"Following the recent anti-Islam film made, there will be a film made to mock Jesus Christ. It will be released in 1979 and will be called Life of Brian"
"I NEED JOKES ABOUT TREES Don't ask questions, I just really need non-offensive tree jokes and fast! Thank you for your help!!!"