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Joke of the Day

"[trailer] Narrator: THIS SUMMER, KEVIN HART Me: oh no Narrator: GUESS WHAT HE'S DOING Me: another cop m- Narrator: ANOTHER COP MOVIE"

"Why do Japanese people have slanty eyes? Atomic bombs are realllllly bright."

"""Where are you all going?"" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. ""You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band"

"*Death comes for me but is once again fooled by my false moustache*"

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great service but no atmosphere."

"I can't stand anti-semitic jokes Anne Frankly, I think no one should support them."

"wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe? me measuring the ceiling: no idea."

"things I hate 1. lists 2. hypocrisy"

"I asked my doctor how bad my breath is. ""You see that broccoli over there?"" he pointed. ""Yes..."" I replied. ""That was a cauliflower before you started talking."""

"I just saw two people having aggressive sex while camping. They were fucking in tents."