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Joke of the Day

"On the phone to the chinese food place & my cat's all chatty... I cover the receiver and hiss ""Shhh, you want them to hear you?"""

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"How does a Jew calculate his escape path? Wind velocity times chimney height."
"What do you call a far-ranging debate? A mass-debate."
"My girlfriend said she's break up with me if I didn't stop being a casanova. Apparently she doesn't like that I live in my Chevy."
"What did Aslan tell Lucy about the Witch and the Wardrobe? It's Narnia business."
"I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food... We should definitely make America grate again."
"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."
"How do you get a free flight at an airport? Take the stairs."
"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."
"Why did the Portuguese guy take Xanax? Hispanic attacks."