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Joke of the Day

"Bill Clinton: ""I sure hope Hillary gets better interns than I did..."" ""All of mine sucked"""

"I wish the Antiques Roadshow guy had just told me how much my swords were worth without getting all nosy about where the blood came from."

"Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ..."

"Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant."

"At least I've never taken a picture with an iPad."

"{Bear walks up to me} ME: Plays dead BEAR: Get up, I just want to talk. Who are you voting for in the election ME: Ugh, a poller bear"

"What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup."

"I got jury duty next week My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it."

"I went to a seafood disco last night... ... I pulled a muscle."

"Prince's housekeeper of 30 years was offered a job as a crime scene investigator. She was considered highly qualified due to her decades of experience dusting for Prince."