191807

Joke of the Day

"{Bear walks up to me} ME: Plays dead BEAR: Get up, I just want to talk. Who are you voting for in the election ME: Ugh, a poller bear"

"So I was eating my grandma out yesterday... When I tongued the familiar taste of horse semen, which is when I realized how my grandma died."

"How does OP's mom turn on the lights after sex? She opens the car door."

"When God eats mushrooms He has delusions of regular."

"I was told I look like a nazi soldier... And I said, ""no, this is a Wehrmacht uniform""."

"Christopher Nolan and Leo Dicaprio walk into a bar and then they walk into another one"

"A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets crabs He calls her out on it, and she replies, ""I was only $10. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"Pao sucks. Don't mind me, I'm just jumping on the hate wagon."

"Why do mice have such tiny balls? Because so few of them can dance!"

"We call her Skippy... because she's so easy to spread."