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Joke of the Day

"As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. ""Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"""

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"What's John Lennon's favorite card game? Yoko Uno"
"Notice In A Library. ""Statutory Warning"", While Reading Sex Knowledge Books, Please Hold The Book With Both Hands."
"Girls aren't friends with other girls. They are just future enemies."
"A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar... ... but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative Bill Bailey."
"What's 3 inches long and pleases all women? A credit card."
"I once swallowed a piece of string and it came out tied. I shit you knot."
"Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face."
"What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball? A hypochondriac"