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Joke of the Day

"How did the hipster burn his fingertips? He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. [rimshot]"

"Why Are Cats Bad Debaters? Because they're always pussyfooting!"

"Why do dyslexics drink tea when having a heated argument? Because they're having a sipping contest."

"Knock Knock - Who's there? Tyfe ... Tyfe Who? Yes, thanks. Milk and two sugars please."

"Before going to your partner's parents' house for the 1st time, it's very important to ask ""How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?"""

"When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun"

"I do shrugs at the gym with like 400 pounds just to show everyone how hard I don't care."

"I think I'd be really good at pulling hay from a horse's mouth But I may just be clutching at straws here."

"Earth's scientists have discovered that sheep are smarter than most primates. This explains why not a lot of sheep tune in to Jersey Shore."

"A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins... Multi-porpoise!"