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Joke of the Day

"When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun"

"A sadist joke I thought-up today at 2:20PM Q: Where do happy sadists come from? A: A Sadist-factory! get it? get it?"

"It's so damn hot outside... I called my ex so I could be around something shady."

"Why I hated my trip to Canada It was a nice country, but as soon as I saw the flag is just wanted to *leaf*"

"Where will you never find a hipster fish? The mainstream"

"Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan."

"My sister is an expert pastry-maker. She has to be to stay employed, her job has a high turnover rate."

"Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club."

"A man with a wooden leg marries a woman with a wooden eye on their honeymoon she asks him if he wants to fool around. He replies, would I! she spits out peg leg"

"Leg Chat: What did the left leg say to the right leg? Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A: ""That one in the middle thinks he's hard."""