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Joke of the Day

"I've heard like eight cancer jokes today... If I hear another one it's gonna benign"

"I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket .... Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments"

"Why do they eat snails in France? They don't like fastfood"

"Baby monitors are pointless because most babies simply stop doing illegal shit as soon as they realize you've got their room bugged."

"I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween, so I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in... Fuck the ships ! My lighthouse, my rules !"

"My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins."

"what comes after the bar? f. as in barf because drinking can make people barf .. f could also mean fuck because drinking can make people fuck that is all"

"you never gotta worry about me cheating on you... i might eat something that was yours but thats about it"

"I still can't get over the news about the marathon.. Even though it happened more than 20 years ago, I'll never get used to calling it Snickers."

"What happened to Voldemort's face? Nobody nose."