86153

Joke of the Day

"I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween, so I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in... Fuck the ships ! My lighthouse, my rules !"

"I got arrested for killing a black man. They charged me with impersonating a police officer."

"I see the baby's nose is running again"" said a worried father. ""For goodness sake!"" snapped his wife. ""Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"""

"Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed."

"How do you increase a pirates morale? mor ale"

"""No. No birthdays, Christmas or modern medicine.. But you sure do make great friends going door-to-door"" *Door slams - Jehova's Witnesses"

"I don't mean to be a party pooper but... where's your bathroom?"

"Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down. Triple Eh!"

"Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield? Its arse."

"To be honest, Adolf Hitler was a hero... Afterall, he was the one who killed Adolf Hitler."