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Joke of the Day

"Baby monitors are pointless because most babies simply stop doing illegal shit as soon as they realize you've got their room bugged."

"A couple was having anal sex when he noticed something brown on his penis That was some fucked up shit."

"Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car"

"Exposed Ashley Madison users feel hurt & betrayed, unsure if they can ever trust again."

"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"

"Left handed people can't do anything right. That... that's it. That's the joke. You don't get it? Then you're probably left handed."

"i'm sorry but hating something that lots of people love doesn't automatically make u an interesting person"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid."

"If I got a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be asking people why they're giving me dimes."

"""Is it in yet???"" -My ATM, mocking me."