203740

Joke of the Day

"I still can't get over the news about the marathon.. Even though it happened more than 20 years ago, I'll never get used to calling it Snickers."

"Where do lightbulbs die? Offswitch."

"Leonardo: Let's go rescue April!! Donatello: Let's do it! Raphael: Bodacious!! Michelangelo: Totally!! Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this"

"No musician has vision impairments All of them should know how to C#"

"Im in a band called ""Missing Cat"" You've probably seen our posters..."

"[Michael Cera running a slice of toast under the cold tap to soften up the sharp edges before eating it]"

"The invention of the wheel started a revolution"

"Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead. So every day, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic."

"""I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure."" - Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently."

"Two peanuts walking down the street.... one was a salted (assaulted) XD"