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Joke of the Day

"Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?"

"What did the recent KKK hit-and-run victim order at Starbucks? A flat white."

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent! I'm not ashamed."

"[trying to make small talk with the lady cutting my hair] so what do you do for a living"

"Did you hear about the new cure for diarrhea? They're calling it ""Gone-o-Rhea."""

"Hey girl with 20,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut the fuck up."

"I changed my ID to say ""Organ Bonor"" rather than ""Organ Donor"". It's spelled wrong, but I hope it still makes the doctor laugh."

"What is a gay horse's favorite meal? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

"An increasing number of farmers are losing their crops due to drought It's a growing problem."

"If you ever get cold Just stand in a corner for a bit, they're usually around 90 degrees."