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Joke of the Day

"Women need to relax and stop worrying so much about their bodies. Men aren't picky! Unless you're chubby or have a wrinkle or something."

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"Dear Keebler elves, 100 calorie packs of cookies suck. I hope your tree burns down."
"How did the bottle of whiskey laugh? ...wryly."
"So two condoms walk into a bar.. .. They quickly realize that it is a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and says, ""Dude. We are gonna get shitfaced tonight!"""
"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"
"the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me...."
"Hello everyone. I'm using Internet explorer so I hope this gets out in time. Happy New Year 2006"
"What's the funniest part of a boxing joke? You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints..."
"Me: Hey. Nice Honda. Him: It's an Acura. Me: All Asian cars look alike. Him: You're racist. Me: I bet your Toyota is good at math."
"My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)"