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Joke of the Day

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"

"I absolutely, unequivocally support any and all scientific efforts to create a real, working invisibility cloak. I just want to make myself crystal clear."

"What do you call an effeminate Japanese man with radiation sickness, AIDS and hemorrhegic fever? Ebola Gay."

"Him: Mm girl, back that ass up. Me: Like on iCloud or something?"

"The sun is a star. So technically it's night all the time."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"Why engineers are boring"

"If you see a kid who's physically unusual somehow, be sure to mention it to the parents. Odds are, they've never noticed and will thank you."

"I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket"

"Men at 26 plays football, Men at 40 plays tennis, Men at 60 plays golf, have you noticed every time you get older your ball gets smaller"