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Joke of the Day

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"

"What would you name a prequel to a story about a man who doesn't age Personally I'm happy with 'The Picture of Ionian Gray'"

"I milked the cow ""We don't have a cow"" the neighbors' cow then ""Their cat?"" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo ""Meow"" Ah shoot"

"Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up."

"A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp."

"How did that bullfight come out? Oh it was a toss-up!"

"Similarities between Scruff McGruff's police force and Michael Vick? They've both got a dog fighting crime."

"Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth."

"Two silkworms are are racing each other... And they ended up in a tie."

"Wanna know my New Year's Resolution? 4K, baby."