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Joke of the Day

"the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me...."

"Why are black people so fast? Because all the slow ones are in prison"

"My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said, ""no whey....."" (true story)"

"How many goals did Germany score? gerMANY"

"The next Fast and the Furious should just be two hours of a guy doing steroids inside of a Nissan Cube."

"What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st? ""I am dismayed!"""

"The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin."

"Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA."

"Shopping when hungry means you end up buying food you will regret. Apply the same rule for not being too horny when going to the clubs/bars."

"When did mathematicians get their independence? March 14."