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Joke of the Day

"My God: dead. My world: disenchanted. My invitation on LinkedIn: declined."

"I should rename my Reddit account to Digiorno... Because as OP I never deliver"

"I survived Sharknado, but my friends didn't... ... I miss those chums"

"They say eating when you're bored is one of the worst things you can do but I think shooting kangaroos is at least equally bad."

"I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride."

"Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed."

"The Republicans haven't got a single candidate who could survive a Willie Wonka factory tour."

"I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said ""no"" so he's obviously the smartest man alive"

"Limericks : Think this needs tweaking... There was a young man from Constantinople Whose limericks didn't always rhyme They finished too short."

"Reddit gold is a lot like Nazi gold Accumulated over the corpses of people you've burned"