10305

Joke of the Day

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."

"I felt like I was going to be programming forever... ...so I took a `break;`"

"I want to be a pharmacist just so I can yell ""Now take these suppositories and shove'em straight up your ass!"""

"Acid... The taste you can see!"

"""Kids are picking on me, Mom"" I'll teach you how to fight, son. ""Yes!"" [Mom spreads rumors about son and ignores him for 3 days]"

"I have a pet dog who can speak. Today I walked in to my house, and he was right there waiting for me. I asked him, ""Hai Buddy, How was your day ?"" And he goes: "" rrrrRough """

"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."

"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo."

"Did you hear about the restaurant that got closed down because they were serving just the rear ends of animals? Just-ass was served"

"Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him."