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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal there is a dog. It is a shih tzu."

"What's lil Wayne's favorite pizza? Lil seizure"

"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"

"What is the difference between Napoleon and his son? One is a Bonaparte from the other."

"Ever meet one of these people that makes everything a competition? I've met more."

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

"A rap song where I'm just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with ""treats"" so he stays interested."

"Black licorice tastes like Satan himself made candy and then it expired."

"My dog's favorite movie is 50 Shades of Grey... because the sex is rrruff."

"Calm down girls, it's Starbucks. They sell coffee, not unicorn blood."