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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee served the same way like I like my women... A cup"

"Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?"

"Why did the proctologist have his cars towed to the auto repair shop? He rectum."

"""This is literally the worst beer I've ever tasted."" *finishes six pack*"

"Helping my daughter study for her geology exam, and apparently 'hard' 'classic' and 'punk' AREN'T the 3 different types of rock. Who knew."

"Co-Worker: Can I get a quick word? Me: Velocity. Co-Worker: ..."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite flavor of ice cream? Definitely not Chocolate"

"I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy."

"My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has ""other pedicures to do"" and doesn't ""speak English""."

"When I die I really hope that as a ghost I can travel and not be stuck in one place. I have people to scare and some I want to see naked."