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Joke of the Day

"Helping my daughter study for her geology exam, and apparently 'hard' 'classic' and 'punk' AREN'T the 3 different types of rock. Who knew."

"Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries."

"Thank God you've updated your status to ""Finished lunch"" after you first posted ""Going to lunch"" I really couldn't tolerate more suspense."

"Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"What do you call a battered Irish Man? Mashed Potatoes."

"My neighbour said I'm not allowed to feed the baby raccoons living in their shed. I wonder if they'd prefer left over chicken to sandwiches"

"You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies.."

"If your uncle Jack is stuck on the roof and needs help. Do you help your uncle Jack off?"

"If a Facebook video says ""you won't believe what happens next"" then I replace ""believe"" with ""care"""