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Joke of the Day

"Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly."

"*i finally get a girl over* *dad rolls out from under my bed* YO SON WHATA YA CALL A PIG WHO DOES KARATE? ""dad no"" A PORK CHOP"

"You can't cry over spilled milk but you can cry over spilled wine"

"Say what you want about deaf people."

"A woman asked me if I had a cigarette. ""Yes..."" I said, ""But what about your baby?"" She said, ""Oh no. He doesn't smoke."""

"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"

"What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup? I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday."

"Victim gets beat up, laptop stolen But that's not the whole story so if you see ""charged with battery"" don't buy it!"

"My paper aeroplane won't fly. It's completely stationery."

"Some days, my only goal that seems attainable is dying in a way so spectacular they name a new piece of protective legislation after me."