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Joke of the Day
"Who always wins the insect election? The lesser of two weevils."
Next Joke
"The defense rests your honor. *camera pans to defendant taking a nap*"
"Fried chicken is unhealthy, especially for the chicken."
"Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing. Except I usually hope my device turns back on."
"43 Hacks That Will Help You Cut Down a Christmas Tree"
"ME: Why can't everyone just be nice EVERYONE: Why can't you ME: Don't change the subject"
"Women need security -when I'm around."
"A gentleman is . . . ...a man who gets out of the shower to take a pee"
"Jewish jokes. 1: How do you pick up a Jewish girl? - A dustpan 2: How do you get a Jewish girl's number? - Roll up her sleeve."
"If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive."