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Joke of the Day

"You can't cry over spilled milk but you can cry over spilled wine"

"I routinely take 8 flights of stairs for no other reason than to avoid idle chit chat in the elevator. See, hating people can be healthy!"

"""Omelet you finish,"" -Kanyegg West"

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"I can make a movie with my hand. All it takes is a FLICK of the wrist!"

"Buys valentine. Writes ""I love you"" inside. Mails card to self. Receives card in mail. Reads card. ""Eww, why do I attract losers?"""

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world... ...those who understand binary and those who don't"

"What does spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have either as a child you are unlikely to enjoy it as an adult."

"I wanted to write a poem about you but I'm having a difficult time finding the words to rhyme with chlamydia infected narcissistic harpy whore."

"Breaking news: Cheese Factory Explosion De brie everywhere."