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Joke of the Day

"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"

"What's the difference between God and a medical school graduate? God doesn't think he's a doctor."

"[puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid"

"What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants? Denim, Denim, Denim"

"I love pteradons They're my favorite dinosoars."

"did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? he was up all night, wondering if there was a dog."

"How do frogs die ? They kermit suidide !"

"You look like a before picture."

"My friend who drowned just had his funeral the other day... We put a lifejacket on his coffin. It's what he would have wanted..."

"Roses are Dead, Violets are Dead I am a bad gardener"