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Joke of the Day

"James Franco is making a movie about lesbian vampires. I'm betting it'll be a period piece."

"What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled."

"FUN AT THE PARK Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

"What is it exactly that separates man from animal? Divorce"

"I like to sip a cup of coffee on a Sunday, grab a book and start worrying about Monday."

"A man walks into a bar... ... ouch."

"What is a firewalker's favorite snack? Tostitos."

"What did Archimedes exclaim when he discovered his penis floated in water? URETHRA!"

"What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?"

"Why is George Michaels never gonna dance again? His EKG ain't got no rythym"