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Joke of the Day

"A black man catches a goldfish and it says ""If you let me go ill give you one wish!"". He replies why do I get 1 and everyone else 3? ""Because you're a fucking nigger"""

"What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?"

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"

"Judge: You need supervision. Me: [Imagines toasting toast at a slightly increased rate with laser eyes] YES! Do it now robed wizard."

"My family and I are going camping for Memorial Weekend. I asked my mother if I could bring my trombone so I can practice, but she said no, because we might get ***banned.***"

"TIL that Martin Luther King Jr got a C in public speaking Look where it got him. Murdered."

"Ronaldo shot so powerful It created a hurricane"

"Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?"

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"what flavor of ice cream do you wish existed?? shaq sweat, nickelodeon slime, or maybe even dog the bounty hunter mullet flavored wow"