218206

Joke of the Day

"You attract more men when you smell like butter, sauteed ham and onions than any expensive perfume."

"What did the constipated mathematician do... ...worked it out with a pencil"

"How many grammar nazi's does it take to change a light bulb How many grammar Nazis does it take to change a light bulb? FTFY."

"How do cows talk to each other? They cowmoonicate."

"Why was the Easter Egg so happy? He just got laid by some chick!"

"What's long, brown, and sticky? A stick"

"I ll see myself out.. Did you know? You can buy a 2 pack of Eminem s for Fifty cent..... It s Ludacris"

"My April Fools day joke blew up in my face. I threatened divorce. My wife agreed."

"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""

"What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg? ""Between us, I think we can make a lot of money!"""