108701

Joke of the Day

"I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What."

"Allow me to brighten your day :) http://imgur.com/gallery/6QOgr"

"'sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.' what, am i supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?"

"Remember ""pantsing"" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants"

"Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order."

"When the audio cuts out at the end of a newscast and the anchors start chit-chatting I like to pretend it's about my surprise party."

"Now that China has blocked Wikipedia, they're considering replacing it with... ... Xikipedia!"

"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexia Association"

"In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture."