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Joke of the Day
"I used to have some jokes concerning noble gasses... but they're argon."
Next Joke
"Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!"
"WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either"
"I love my cat, and my cat loves me. The feline's mutual."
"Don't let that ""Metalica"" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' ""Wrecking Ball"""
"Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine? A mental hospital"
"What do you mean I can't identify as a television? Just watch me!"
"Girl, You're like my mom I ain't gonna fuck my mom you sick fuck"
"Why did truffle get invited to the party? Cos he was a fun-guy"
"""On my way"" I said, pretending to drive my bed."